Le weekend

Still knee-deep in CRU climate gossip. Every spare minute of my otherwise uncharacteristically relaxing weekend (wander into town, buy paper, lunch, overpriced jumper) was spent trying to keep up with developments as hundreds of people tore their way through thousands of emails like puppies through underwear (for those of you who have been living under a blog for the last few, it started roughly here). Even the increasingly in-flightish FT offered no sanctuary, with a profile of ten “top” climate scientists. Number two on the list? Why Tim Lenton of course, who works a few doors down from everyone’s new favourite emailers at University of East Anglia. It’s a smaller scene than the arts scene, this one. 

And speaking of the arts scene, the climate-themed weekend started innocently and fun enough: David Thompson’s piece read over friday morning coffee on Cape Farewell, a peer-reviewed, Arts Council-funded expedition of mainly art blowhards to the Arctic to expel various gasses on the subject of you-know-what for a few days. Notable gasses included Jarvis Cocker’s learned observation that an iceberg “basically pisses on” all of art; Marcus Brigstocke, on the trip simply because he is the closest a live human has ever been to being a greenhouse gas, and a man who bravely dedicates his music—human-beatboxing, the CO2 emissions of which are measurable in PPMPMC (parts per million per MC)—to the cause of global warming. Less notable and more predictable (than Marcus Brigstocke, an achievement worth an arts council grant alone) was Francesca Galeazzi, with her “performance/action/intervention” of opening an actual canister of carbon dioxide gas. Reports from the site suggest Galeazzi countered initial hostility to her action among the small audience by making everyone a sodastream. At least she didn’t waste more of our atmosphere by talking, you say. We should be so lucky. 

The fun continues.

Stern

In an interview in today’s Times Lord Stern of Brentford, author of the Stern report on climate change, claims it is inevitable that we are going to have to stop eating meat in order to halt the progress of global warming.

So, plans are afoot to take away our cars, our foreign holidays, and now our meat. I think someone had better start calculating the carbon footprint of violent revolution.

A golden age of incivility

Further evidence of northern Europe’s ‘unhealthy fascination with american affairs’

Ann Gerhart, writing in—or more accurately, on the front page of—Sunday’s Washington Post, claims that the nation’s political discourse has become sour, angry, even dangerous. “The nation’s political discourse seems sour, angry, even dangerous,” she writes, before qualifying, “as if President George W. Bush had never been depicted as Hitler”.

Indeed. An excuse if ever there was one to trawl through the archives at zombietime.com and revisit what was truly a golden age of incivility:


Journalist Michelle Malkin (whose email got Ann Gerhart all fired up) depicted
with nazi do


Because all those Bush/vagina puns were just too damned civil


Scrotal inflation towards collectivist anarchism

And finally, not from the Zombie archives, some work of America’s vandal-laureate, Shepard Fairey:

Images taken without permission. Lawyers please get in touch at the usual address

Two Newcastle councillors quit in protest over leaders’ plans to axe 500 local council jobs.

498 to go. Some protest.

Untitled (see below)

The Financial Times has published a superb animated datagraphic breaking down the costs over twenty-odd years of the UK’s various national adventures.

If this was Monocle magazine this article would likely be entitled any of the following:

—State of play
—State of affairs
—Bank state-ment
—Sorry state
—I like my state overdone

But it isn’t.

Me MEP

In celebration of the North East still returning a Labour MEP, here’s a picture of a monkey in a suit:

Much hand-wringing on the lower-blogosphere and Facebook about the BNP getting a couple of bozos to Brussels. You want democracy? You got it.

Hazel Blears

must be the only person ever to be glad to be going back to Salford.

Wait a second, he did what?

via. Instapundit

Budget 2009 Live

Thrills, spills, and outfits of the 2009 UK budget

10.41am Unemployment announced at 2.1 million. Treasury statement attempts to quell fears, claiming recently unemployed ‘mainly Labour party special advisers’.

10.52am Sky News business reports ‘in times of hardship, invest in luxury chocolates’.

11.05am Darling enjoys relaxing breakfast.

11.22am Traditional budget photocall ruined by red briefcase falling open, just some flies.

11.26am Darling uses tradesman’s entrance.

11.47am Sky News debt counter only available to widescreen viewers.

11.55am Sky News employ daytime interior design show presenter as economics pundit.

12.01pm Gilts fall, Pound falls, Darling hasn’t even got up yet.

12.10pm PMQs so far unusually free of Labour question plants.

12.13pm Scratch that.

12.15pm Darling questioning effectiveness of so-called relaxing breakfast.

12.30pm Budget called by man in fetching peaked lapels. Darling wearing t-shirt with ‘FISCALLY STIMULATED’ written in gold and baseball cap with propeller on.

12.32pm Something about a global.

12.36pm Sky News employs urban artist to live-stencil salient budget points.

12.40pm Tractor production up.

12.45pm Inside my red briefcase is a snow-witch who feeds me turkish delight.

12.48pm People under 25 without jobs to be given internships in Labour department of special advice.

12.53pm ‘Human Scrapping’ scheme announced: fuel-inefficient humans incentivised to scrap themselves.

12.58pm ‘Fathers for Justice’ activists dressed as Batman make ill-timed entry into parliament.

13.05pm Westminster suffers minor tremor as all rich people flee City.

13.08pm FTSE back below 4000, as shown on Sky as downward-trending red line superimposed over Darling’s face.

13.15pm Sustainability achieved by the scrapping of perfectly good cars.

13.21pm Never seen anyone sit down so fast.

13.25pm Green shoots are shooting, flowers pick themselves.

Target GIFs reviewed

Political blogger? Need a good, quick GIF of a target to throw over a picture of a Labour party member that you are about to take down? Before you do, read this review of the best of the web’s target GIFs:

A good place to start. Simple, plenty of visual impact. A nod to Mod iconography. Would suit the young rebellious British blogger wishing to make an impact with the kids.

More purposeful. A bit like actually looking through the sight of a gun. And red, so Labour and all that. Suggests a seriousness of intent—save for a particularly vicious character.

Despite good colouration (lots of red targets knocking about—coincidence?) probably too target-dense. Victim’s face would be obscured, although could be utilised as saturday night cliffhanger to bait desperate newspaper editors.

Choice target of the American libertarian blogger. Like if publishing a scandalous email on your blog doesn’t work, you’ll finish the job the old-fashioned way. Not recommended for anyone who isn’t already being watched by the secret service.

It’s animated for fucks sake. Combine a good Labour party sleaze scoop with an animated GIF, and your server isn’t going to last the night.

The only asymmetrical target GIF on the web, and also in Labour party team colours. Save for Gordon Brown’s hideously asymmetrical face.

Notes: Go Guido!